I once heard that when we tell others about our plans, the brain processes it almost like an accomplished success — which is why, they say, you shouldn’t talk about your plans.
That advice always felt counterintuitive and even a bit unkind to me. And now I finally understand what was missing.
Saying “I will do it” is ridiculously easy.
For example: I want to kiss Jenna Ortega. I can say, “Guys, I swear — within three years I’ll kiss her,” and instantly get my share of social head pats, as if my tongue were already in her mouth. After all, I haven’t invested anything yet — so I have nothing to lose. In three years, I can always push the plan another three forward, or explain why it didn’t work out.
But there’s another way. I could sign up for acting classes. Get a U.S. visa. Hang around Hollywood studios begging for a small role — “Volobuev, here’s your sword!” Nail the line perfectly, cause a sensation, get invited to a party, and finally approach dear Jenna!
And then find out she doesn’t like people whose noses aren’t perfectly centered.
What a fail! Three years of effort — and still no kiss. But here’s the funny part: only I know that the acting lessons were meant to lead to Hollywood. Only I know that my glorious “Volobuev, here’s your sword!” performance was meant to get me to that party.
And after the very first acting class, I can already say, “Hey, I went to an acting lesson.”
And that’s cool in itself — not because I might (or might not) someday kiss Jenna Ortega, but because I’m acting in line with my own values.
Whether the audience likes my performance isn’t entirely up to me.
Whether Jenna Ortega likes off-center noses isn’t up to me at all.
Denying the role of others — or of sheer luck — in your results is giving yourself way too much credit.
What is up to you, though, is the amount of effort and number of attempts you make.
And that’s what’s worth talking about — in the format of “I did”.
Because a person who does is always more interesting than one who only promises — even if things don’t work out.